One of the benefits of our bedside vigil, according to Frazier, has been the opportunity to laugh and cry together. Frazier and I had been in the hospital for 3 straight days without grooming, showering, or changing clothes. Yesterday, Cassi brought FM clean clothes including socks. As we were sitting around the room, Fraz causally pulled off his shoes...the smell was horrendous. He had been wearing socks that wick - they could stand up by themselves.! Of course, we started laughing really hard as he tried to use creams and lotions, presribed for Dean, to cover the "stench." Bill was laughing so hard, but he had to leave the room.
Then we started reminiscing about how Dean would start laughing so hard...he would put his huge hand on his chest, fingers spread wide, and would laugh and laugh with tears rolling down his cheeks. After a while, whoever was with him would be laughing more at Dean's laugh than the original event. I know so many of you can picture that. As we talked about it, it made us laugh even harder and we remembered some of those times - in our kitchen, in a restaurant, in a movie. One of Frazier's middle school friends was at our house eating spagetti, when Dean started one of his laughing bouts. We were laughing so hard that Fra's friend threw up on his plate, right there in front of us.! Of course, that made Dean laugh harder. It took a long time for Dean to recover from that one, and that is one of our family's favorite stories that lives on.
It's Sunday morning and Dean's vitals are very low but he hangs on. Knowing Dean, when he thinks we are strong enough to transition to the next phases of our lives, he'll leave us, satisfied at the result of his work. Linda
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17 comments:
Dear Bill, Linda, Frazier and Haverly,
My heart aches with you. I am so glad that you are able to say what you need to say to Dean and laugh and cry with him there.
My prayers and love are with you all.
Love, Felicia
What would we be without the ability to laugh? I was enjoying Linda's last posting until I got to the last paragraph; then I broke down. Dean knows how much I like to garden so I went outside and planted begonias all along the periphery of the yard even though we could still get a cold snap. All those beautiful flowers have your names on them: Bill, Linda, Haverly, and Frazier. The planting made me happy, but my heart is still heavy, very heavy indeed. Dean, I will be enjoying those flowers all summer long, and you will always have a special place in my heart, no matter what. That's all.
xxxooo,
John
Dear Linda, Bill, Haverly, and Frazier. I admit that I can not get my mind around your words. I am in cnstant prayet for all of you and for my dear friend.
Carla and Larry
Dearest Dean, Bill, Linda, Haverly and Frazier,
As Carla said i can not get my mind around this, but I know my heart is sad and heavy . Do not know what to do except pray and send emails wishing you all and Dean peace, comfort and strength
during this time of vigil.
I love you all....
sue from florida
Just yesterday, after I read your last posting, I found myself thinking about how many, many times I have tried to say the most outrageous thing possible in Dean's presence, just to crack him up! And then to keep adding to it to send him over the edge! NO ONE has a laugh like Dean!
I am moving through this entire day with you on my mind, and Dean in my heart.
Scott
Dean, Bill, Linda, Haverly, Frazier:
My thoughts and prayers continue for all of you.
David Jensen
Dear Bill, Linda, Frazier and Haverly...
We have not gotten all of you out of our thoughts since reading the last couple of blogs. We were so hoping we would never have to read what you shared and that somehow Dean would come through all of this. Still we cannot comprehend fully what has happened. Please know we are sending you lots of hugs and positive energy for this very, very difficult time. Give him a hug for us and tell him that we love him.
Our love to all of you...
Muriel and Sue
My thoughts and prayers continue to be with each of you. It's so good to hear how being reminded of the fullness of his laughter lifted each of you. Dean's presence was definitely missed at the most recent gathering of the Harvard ExEL team. Several participants asked about him and offered their heartfelt support upon hearing of his health challenge.Dean has made a positive and lasting impact on many lives. He's a true gift.
Wishing you peace & comfort.
Angela Kenyatta
It is hard to believe but one of the treasures of this illness is the relationships built by those who are left. Not only among yourselves but with all of Dean's friends. Wouldn't you know that even now, Dean gathers all his friends together, as he has done so many other times.
It is good that humor can continue to bring you all together during this time. We all have many stories about his laughter, especially his putting his hands on his chest when he couldn't stop laughing.
We all continue to keep you in our thoughts and pray.
Love, Kay and Andy
Bill, Frazier, Haverly,& Linda,
Our love, prayers, and thoughts!
We love Buster BIG!
C&S
We think of you each day my Heart is with you all today... We will leave to Italy on Sunday for Three weeks a trip that Dean and I talked about for a long time...
I will think of you all this week
Michelle and Kent
As you write and we know, when Dean knows it is time, he will transition. We must trust his decision as his heart and soul are now creating more memories for each of us...for you as you spend quality time with him and for me as you share the events of the day. My heart is so heavy, full and tears are in my eyes, yet I KNOW Dean's spirit is also in each of us that read your words.
With Love,
Judy (Anderson) Doms
Der Bill, Linda, Frazier and Haverly,
You are all so close to my heart today. I can't begin to tell you how much of your families humor, love and warmth comes through in the posts.
Dean remains the consummate educator. He is still teaching all of us what love looks like.
Ann
Dear Linda and Dean,
Dan called me Sat to tell me of Dean's condition. I am very sad to hear how things are going and how I wish I had a chance to talk with you both. I am remembering you in my daily prayers and thinking of you and the entire family. So many wonderful memories come to mind from way back in the late 60's when we met. I remember Dean's great laugh and warm smiles and it just is so hard to believe so many years have passed without seeing you all. Please give Dean a hug for me and keep one for yourself Linda. May God bless you all and keep Dean comfortable.
Michele DiGiacomo
Our thoughts and prayers continue for Dean and family. Word identification is "cries". Nothing more to write.
Love Kathy and Chip
We are all in that room with you, holding your hands, crying, laughing, and trying to figure it out. In coming to grips with this, we pledge to carry on with all that we have learned from and loved with Dean. Its one of the ways I can deal with it. Love, lots of it.
All,
The team in the Beaverton School District are all thinking of Dean and the family during this difficult time. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Take care!
Maureen Wheeler
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