Hi Everyone,
Overall, not much has changed since Mom's last update though Dad does seem somewhat more lucid in the past two days. Again we really appreciate your thoughts and prayers and comments on the blog.
I wanted to give some insight into our decision to ask that no visitors be allowed as I know many of you are very eager to see Dad.
The first reason deals with the spread of germs etc. Dad is still in an immuno-suppressed state so any germs that he might be exposed to could have a really negative impact on him. We all wear masks and use the anti-bacterial foam going in and out of the room in addition to washing hands often. By limiting the number of people in contact with him, we are better able to limit the germs. Just know that we'll all (including you!) be wearing these surgical masks for a long time to come, so I recommend buying stock now.
There are two other main reasons we are asking for no visitors and they have to do with Dad's emotional state and his trying to manipulate newcomers.
Dad is under strict order that he not be allowed to have any water or liquid whatsoever. He is unable to swallow and even the smallest drop into his lung can cause pneumonia or worse. What he does do is size up every single person who enters the room to see if he'll be able to finagle a cup of water. From just asking to have one sitting next to him so he can wipe things off to telling you that the nurse said it was ok, he's trying every trick in the book. It's hard to say no, especially when you have just come in and are not sure what the real situation is.
Finally Dad's emotional state is quite precarious. From begging you to let him leave the hospital to telling you the nurses are out to get him etc, he really is having some paranoia issues. One friend did stop by and Dad cried uncontrollably for the next 30 minutes. We just are never sure what the next minute, hour, day will bring. It's hard on the nurses too because they aren't sure what he is referring to or upset about. Our job is to keep him comfortable and make sure that he's ready and willing to move ahead with what is sure to be a long and arduous rehab process.
We truly can't thank you enough for all the strength your thoughts and prayers give us and we want you to know that when we feel he's ready we will welcome you all with open arms, but for the time being we are acting in what we feel are Dad's best interests and we hope you will bear with us and understand.
Happy President's Day and I hope you are enjoying the day off.
Haverly
10 comments:
Bless your hearts, all of you.
Waiting for Dean to be stronger mentally and physically before seeing visitors is so important. Things are "other worldly" in the ICU, and I know its often hard for the family to reconcile life in the ICU with "normal" life. It's like entering another county where you can't speak the language and don't understand the customs. And that's for the family who are well. It's much harder for Dean who has very limited control over his life at a time where he is very ill and adjusting to new medication.
This is a marathon. The time will come when everyone's help is needed. For now please know that many many thoughts and prayers are with you.
Ann
We know that this is a hard time for everyone. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all, and we realize that it is better not to see him and have him get his strength and senses about him before too many visitors come. Remember to all take care of yourselves so none of you get sick. Sometimes in an effort to be a "good care" giver we forget to give care to ourselves. If nothing else, take time daily for a short walk. Love, Kay and Andy
All of your updates are so good, Haverly, Linda, Bill, and Frazier! We think about you all and Dean each day, several times a day, and send love and hugs continually. Just know...we are minutes away, so we can help with whatever you need. We'll definitely follow your leads. You all are not in this alone. Dean gives so much to others, as do you all...we are happy to give in return. Walking around the lake at City Park will be such a treat. Bob, Rosanne, Parker and Sadie Fulton
We all know Dean to brilliant! His current state is just reflective of his amazing thought processes at work. I can only imagine what his brilliance is conjuring up in his mind topped with medication and you got your hands full. This too shall pass....hang in there all of you!! I send my support as you navigate through this trying time.
shana levine
Thank you so much for the updates. Best thoughts and prayers continue to come your way...
David Jensen
Thanks for the updates. While we can't be there physically for Dean right now, we are all there in our minds and hearts!
Debbie Hearty
Thinking of you today sending you many thoughts and prayers
Michelle and Kent
Haverly,
Your strength is remarkable, bolstered by the love you feel for your wonderful Dad. I know all of you are challenged by these circumstances, but you are doing a wonderful job, as all can see from these posts.
Continued love to all of you, and most of all to our dear Dean.
To all,
As always our love and energy! And thank you for telling us what you need. Your wishes are well respected! Continue to maintain your strength by taking care of yourselves and each other. Please know that all of you have served as role models as we go about our 'daily, normal' lives. You remind us about what is really important with such grace! Thank you and we owe you a debt of gratitude. c&s
We all will appreciate our glasses of water today and the health that we can so easily take for granted. We appreciate the situation and know we will be able to share memories of this time in the near future. You guys are incredible and we will do what ever you say!
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